Commentary/Lesson
Where does stress and fear come from?
We pretend, a lot, especially as athletes, that we don’t care about the opinions of others. Right? We don’t care what the fans are doing. We don’t care what the parents are doing, what the coaches are doing. But when we really look deep down inside, we realize we do care about the opinions of others. It drives us. It drives us to decision making – to make sure we don’t make mistakes in front of people and, especially as athletes, we see it all the time.
I want to tell you a story about myself.
In 2007-2008, I had some of the best career years in the minor leagues. Statistically, I did really well. I moved up very fast up to the Big Leagues. But the minute I crossed into the Big Leagues, and got that first call up, my mindset, everything changed. Instead of me, when I was playing in the minor leagues, I was just focusing on my process. What I could control. But then a shift in my mindset changed. I was looking around and seeing all of these amazing players and saying, “Man, I gotta prove that I can play with these guys.” And so instead of my mindset just improving and growing and doing what I’ve always done that was successful, is I was so afraid of what the coaches thought, what the organization thought, and honestly, what my numbers looked like.
So, how could I conquer this? How could I talk to myself now, right? How could I talk to myself in the past, now? I would encourage him and I would tell him, “One of the most important things is understanding your identity. Making sure that, what do you have control over and what do you value?”
At BASE by Pros we call this Building Your Diamond. We think about four key words that define exactly who we want to be – our best self. Whether that’s being Truthful… Kind… Having Courage… being Fearless… bring Present…being Authentic… It doesn’t matter what those key words are.
The most important thing we can do is making sure we look at those words and understand these are things we have control over. I don’t have control over whether Coach likes me. I don’t have control over whether a boss or a colleague really does like me. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about them. But, in the end, I can only control what I do. And what I have control over is my process. What I think about… How I believe in myself… And that confidence comes from inside. It doesn’t come from the results of or the praise of other people.
We see it all the time in social media. We see this at a young age. We felt that when I was in middle school – probably when you were in middle school as a parent – it’s this desire to fit in and I was so worried about what everyone else thought.
So I encourage you, when you look into our blog, answer the question yourself: “What is that Diamond Principle that you really want to fill in? …those key words that really define who you are?”
I’ve done it and it has changed who I’ve become because now I look every single day and say, “Did I have Kindness? Was I Truthful? Did I have Courage? And was I, in the end, did I treat people with absolute Respect?”
Fill out your Diamond Principles.
Here at BASE by Pros we focus on Mindset, Skills, Strength, and we come home to Character. Character being one of the most important things to us.
I challenge you to fill yours out and hope that it helps.
Dream Big, Serve Bigger!
~ Brent Lillibridge
Your Turn
Identify your four Diamond Principles. Below are a list of words you can choose from. They may also inspire you to think of additional words as well.
If it helps, feel free to review The Diamond Principles we focus on here at BASE by Pros.
WORD BANK
| Honest Kind Present Consistent Hardworking Courageous Giving Selfless Brave Resourceful Loyal | Generous Self-Confident Respectful Considerate Independent Helpful Polite Leader Loving Proud Energetic |
Final Thoughts
Don’t let anyone define you. You define yourself.
Billie Jean King – Tennis Champion and Activist
Can you remember who you were before society told you who you had to be?
Etta Arlene – Author
“Remembering who you are – is how you take your power back.”
Lalah Delia – Author
